Backhanded Blurbs December 9, 2009
Posted by caveblogem in Other.add a comment
Seems like I’ll read anything these days. It definitely takes me longer to read books that don’t interest me, but that is not enough to stop me from reading them. The last two books seem to have been sitting on my dresser for a long time, long enough for me to actually look at the marketing blurbs on their covers. and I noticed something odd.
First, we have The Enchantments of Flesh and Spirit, by Storm Constantine, which is taking me forever to slog through. (I’m definitely in the wrong demographic for this one, wrong age and, I suspect, the wrong sexual preference.) On the cover is only one sales blurb: “A tremendously impressive first novelist,” it says. Ms. Constantine went on to a prolific career, publishing dozens of novels, but I think this was the only first novel she wrote. But I’m no expert. Setting aside the question of whether someone can be a “first novelist,” it is a shame that they couldn’t find anyone willing to say something positive about her book. Maybe the reviewer was saying that, although impressive, she will always be a first novelist.
Next (actually not intended as a joke) we have Michael Crichton’s last (not a joke either) novel. (Unless Dr. Crichton has some posthumous scribblings I am unaware of, there will not be a sequel to Next.) The blurb in question is the only one on the cover of the book consisting of more than one word (which I’m sure you realize can be so much more easily taken out of context than a phrase) is the following: “As entertaining as anything he has written since Jurassic Park.” This phrase is rendered on the cover in all caps, but I couldn’t bring myself to reproduce it here like that, particularly given the context. And I suspect that the Dallas Morning News did not print the review in all caps either. At any rate, imagine this quote read by Eeyore. It can be taken more than one way, is what I mean to say.
So, I find myself wondering if that is the real secret to becoming a widely read reviewer of media, that liminality or hidden ambivalence or whatever it is.
Staple Cover Redux December 3, 2009
Posted by caveblogem in Other.1 comment so far
It’s not often my paper folding posts get comments on them. Somebody noted that my previous post on paper staple covers was difficult to follow. I put this one together counting on the pictures telling the stories. Hope it is a little more clear (although it is slightly ugly, I see). Let me know how this works, Dave.
Step 1
Step 2
Step 3
Step 4
Step 5
-
Step 6
-
Step 7
Step 8
Step 9
Step 10
Step 11
Step 12
Step 13
Spoiler Alert–The Lost Symbol October 25, 2009
Posted by caveblogem in Books.2 comments
I guess it should be no surprise to me that I am not part of the demographic for which Dan Brown’s new book The Lost Symbol was written. I find myself very irritated by the protagonist, who I find wimpy and self-righteous and boneheaded. How could Tom Hanks have wanted to play this guy on the big screen? An example:
Then watch ESPN, Langdon thought, always amused to see professional athletes point skyward in gratitude to God after a touchdown or home run. He wondered how many knew they were continuing a pre-Christian mystical tradition of acknowledging the mystical power above, which, for one brief moment, had transformed them into a god capable of miraculous feats. –pp 87
Can you continue a tradition without knowing it? What if the meaning you are trying to convey is: we’re #1? And why does this amuse our symbologist? The first two questions are rhetorical, of course. The answer to the third is because he thinks he is superior to them. I would love to take the guy to a sports bar to watch a game, and I actually smiled briefly during the part of the book where you are supposed to think that he has drowned.
But I do find myself wondering who it is that makes up his main demographic, the people who like this Robert Langdon and identify with him in the way you are supposed to care about protagonists of bestsellers.
See, much of the tension in the plot of The Lost Symbol depends upon the reader feeling that the unearthing of a secret by its central villain will be incredibly destructive. The reader is unsure what constitutes this secret until very nearly the end of the book. We are led to assume that the consequences will be on par with an atomic bomb.
Langdon turned to her trying to speak, but he could find no words. It didn’t matter. Understanding was written all over his face Sato was right. Tonight was a national security crisis . . . of unimaginable proportions. (ellipsis in original, I’m afraid, pp. 438)
So when I finally get to the denouement of this terrible secret, that many high-ranking politicians are Masons, and were caught on videotape doing their Masonic rituals, and the villain is going to send the video to major media outlets, I am mystified. You read that last sentence correctly, not Mansons, he’s writing about Masons. And this is supposed to be a bad thing because people won’t understand. There will be a sort of witch hunt that will lead to total chaos.
I have nothing against Masons. But I found myself thinking that it would not be the tragedy he makes it out to be. Secret rooms for Masonic rituals in the Capitol building sub-basement? Covert brotherhoods among the most powerful people in the country? The Director of the CIA scrambling operatives to keep all this stuff secret? Maybe I am a little angry about the mismanagement of this country over the last (pick a number) years, but I found myself thinking: Bring on the videotape, bring on the chaos.
So, naturally, I found myself wondering, who, when reading this part of the book, breaths a sigh of relief, thinking “gosh, I’m glad they were able to keep that stuff under wraps”?
It’s at the top of the picture there. October 16, 2009
Posted by caveblogem in Other.3 comments
Snow pretty early this year
Happy Fall October 12, 2009
Posted by caveblogem in Other.1 comment so far
Maggie doesn’t even know it’s there.
Wipe Board October 8, 2009
Posted by caveblogem in Other.2 comments
Yeah, it’s another gray cubicle, but it came with a wipe board.
Sloppy Taggers September 13, 2009
Posted by caveblogem in Other.2 comments
Apparently the gangs of Tyngsboro, Massachusetts don’t really value artistic tagging skills.
It is a little embarrassing when we have visitors from California here, I must say.
I’m looking over August 25, 2009
Posted by caveblogem in luck or time.1 comment so far
I find maybe 50 or so four-leaf clovers a year. A couple of years ago I tried giving them away as gifts, but I guess I don’t have enough friends to do that successfully, because I have a pretty big backlog
I started looking for them, in part, because I was intrigued by how you could actually get better at finding them (other reason was a puppy that took forever to do her business). Once you know where and how to look, you see tons of them.
A couple of weeks ago I started taking pictures of them before I picked them, to look into the perceptual issues a little more formally.
The picture above, taken right next to the flower bed that encloses my mailbox, has two four-leaf clovers in it. See if you can find ‘em.
This end (of the universe) up August 17, 2009
Posted by caveblogem in Other.2 comments
Finished my last final yesterday morning at 7:00am and the whole family decided to take the rest of Sunday off. The weather was promising to be warm and muggy (but not as warm and muggy as today and tomorrow, which the meteorblahblahists are calling “oppressive.” And New England weather has no business making promises.) Just a side note, here: You should feel free to rearrange the final punctuation marks in that last couple of sentences howsoever you see fit. I give up. Anyway, we decided that Boston’s Museum of Science might be air-conditioned and cool, and there are films (3-D sharks, no less) and other stuff.
Special added bonus: Almost empty until like noon. Lots of people decided the beach was the place to be.
A new exhibit on Black Holes (well, if you are capitalizing things like God and The United States, then, well, I don’t know . . .) is still in the “asking for feedback” stages. My lovely wife thought it was a little short on saying how these things are formed in the first place (always the teacher). And I certainly couldn’t remember seeing any explanations. She posited that maybe everyone is supposed to know this already. I’m wondering if maybe they just didn’t think of it. As support for this, I offer the following photo:
Now maybe it doesn’t matter which direction they face, but I certainly wouldn’t take the chance.
Balding like an embalmed syphilitic tyrant August 10, 2009
Posted by caveblogem in Other.Tags: aging
3 comments
I try not to be a vain person, really. I’ve got to admit, however, that having a little mostly bald patch on the top of my head near the back really bothers me. Try to put my finger on what there is about it that really gets to me and I’d have to guess that it makes me feel like I look weak. It’s stupid. I am much stronger, and in slightly better shape than any other time in my life, except possibly my late teens. Something about having hair, but a missing patch, seems worse than no hair at all.
There are few famous people sporting this particular look, which makes it all the worse, of course. The famous guys my age have rugs or hair plugs or were vain enough to start using monoxidil in their youth. Some shave their heads, which my wife discourages me from doing. I was reading last week’s New Yorker and ran across a real gem, though. Buried in Ian Frazier’s two-part travel narrative about Siberia is the phrase, used to describe a companion, “Lenin-pattern baldness.”
With Lenin-pattern baldness I can still be intimidating and frightening. I find that a comfort, somehow. “Get off my lawn,” bellowed the big guy down the street with Lenin-pattern baldness.
*I should probably note that the title to this post is derived from a line in one of my favorite books, Microserfs, by Douglas Coupland.
